Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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