this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Randomize
