He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize