real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Randomize
