Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
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