Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
