I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Randomize
