stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
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