a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
