Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
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