i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
So I just went to clothing optional bar
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize