I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Randomize
