my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
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