that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
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