Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Let's paint friendship bongs
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
