3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
Randomize
