Three words: puerto rican gang bang
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
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