Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
