She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Randomize
