dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
