just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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