How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
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