That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
