Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
This is the high leading the old right now
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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