jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
