so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize