I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Randomize
