that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
