did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
