You made me cry and you don't even care
Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
