Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
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