I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
