I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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