the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Randomize
