Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Randomize