New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Randomize
