We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
