Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
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