Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Randomize
