can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
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