You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Randomize
