I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
