Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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