guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
Fuck appropriateness.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
