life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
