When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
Randomize
