My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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