apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Randomize
