So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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