oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
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