youre lurking in front of me
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
