So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
why do cheetos always look like penises
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
