So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
