I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
