i think my mom watched the whole time
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
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