Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Randomize
