It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
